Learning to trust after experiencing sexual abuse or sexual violence is a long road. Starting with small steps will bring confidence that leads onto more major changes in relationships. The way out of isolation is to communicate in relationships – find out what others are really thinking – not what we perceive they are thinking.. Fear of betrayal can isolate us and puts us in touch with pain and loss – but we need try to cultivate healthy relationships with good boundaries, respect, communication and equality.
We need to be wise, not everyone is trustworthy. We need to accept that without being suspicious of all people. We can observe certain attributes about people that give us clues as to whether we can trust and take the risk of a deeper relationship with them.
What are some of the attributes/signals that would indicate a person is trustworthy for you?
Ideas to contemplate:
- Turning up on time
- Listening to you
- Sharing parts of themselves
- Taking it in turns to choose how to spend your time together
- Doesn’t break commitments or promises
- When problems and issues arise they are open to your point of view
- Is willing to look at themselves and make some changes
- They take seriously and respect your personal values
Learning to trust can be a long and painful road but taking little risks with people with good boundaries can be a start. Perhaps try making a list of qualities and signals that you can look for in your friends that could take the relationship a bit deeper. Perhaps go out for a coffee and take a risk on telling your friend something you haven’t told them before – see where it takes you both.
#SelfCare#SelfCareJourney#HealingJourney
#RestAndRecover#MentalHealth#MentalWellbeing #EmotionalHealing #TraumaHealing
#HealingAfterTrauma #TraumaRecovery #Resilience #RecoveryJourney