Sometimes when we have experienced abuse or lived in an unsafe environment we become used to being very submissive and unassertive and this can become a blue print for our life today. This is becausein an environment in which self-assertion is unsafe for the child or young person , shame and submissions enables the child or young person to become compliant and preoccupied with avoiding “being bad”, In an unsafe environment, shame must be over-used to down-regulate states of fear/anger or any behaviour unacceptable in the environment. In such situations the shame and submission can literally save your life. As part of its role in downregulating activation, shame helps to drive the animal defence of submission when we feel danger. The shame responses in our body for example averting our gaze, bowing our heads or collapsing our spine could have been vital for our safety during a traumatic, abusive and dangerous time.
Try not to look back and judge your younger self for responding in a shame or submissive behaviours. The task now may be for you to look at ways to leave this response behind and move into a place where you feel more able to be more vocal and assert yourself.
In our April workshop we will look at Shame and submission and ways out of it… for more information please email us at info@intothelight.org.uk
#intothelight #traumasupport #supportforsurvivors #survivorsrecovery #sexualabuserecovery #sexualviolencerecovery #supportfortraumasurvivors